SWEETIE, pumpkin, sugar pie, LOVIE, schmoopie poo, cuddle buddy.
Sexy motherfucker, pussy lovin’, tie-me-up-ouch-so-good SEX POT lumberjack.
There are two halves in the romantic mind.
Friend & Lover.
Equality & Polarity.
Sameness & Otherness.
Knowing & Novelty.
Intimacy & Mystery.
Predictable grounding & unpredictable fire.
Usually, I find most clients want help re-creating EROTIC POLARITY and sexual tension.
But before we go down steamtown lane, we usually ALSO need to stoke that sweet, non-erotic connection that creates COMFORT & INTIMACY.
So, here are five ways to create a swwwweeeet, soft and tender experience in your partnership (and YOUR experience of pleasure!)
1. Ask yourself what you want and like.
This question may be loaded and complicated, but don’t let yourself be confused with “I don’t know!”
What sounds nice to you? A quiet night to chill? A glass of wine by the fire? Laughing over a board game?
Get curious about what you want and why, particularly if you’re feeling like you’re “missing” something.
2. Give yourself alone time for pleasure.
Create what you want.
Want to feel connected to him? Connect with YOUR pleasure first.
Want to relax together? Spend some time clearing your mind and relaxing on your own.
Want to swoon over some vino and candle light? Create some extra time in a hot shower, dressing up, and feeling swoon-worthy.
When you can start creating the experience and feeling FIRST, it’s so much easier to let it happen when he’s around.
3. Make time for connection (aka non-sexy time)
Again, don’t go for elaborate, jumping through hoops to “be” together. This time together is mostly about being undistracted (phones down!) and listening to each other.
Take a walk together
Sit on the same side of the couch for Netflix time
Massage his neck while he makes dinner
Steal him away for a dinner out
Decide to ACTUALLY talk about something intimate rather than the habit conversations.
4. Flirt over orgasm chasing.
What IF… flirting could be better than an orgasm?
The slow anticipation of what COULD be erotic is delicious anticipation of pleasure.
Before the wild passion or hip thrusting madness, let there be SO much curiosity, play, and sweet meanderings.
I’m talking FOREPLAY in all senses of the word. Flirting, eye contact, whispers, Soft touch, kissing, questions, everything you may skip over.
There is so much pleasure in the lead-up that IS SWEET and all about getting to KNOW eachother.
5. Gratitude for the pleasures you DO have
Lastly, this one really underpins it ALL. When I say gratitude, I mean, the good that is ALREADY in your life, your partnership, your body that is special.
Start with pleasures of your senses, of your body, of your life, and of course, your partner.
I love to smell:
I love to touch:
I love to taste:
I love to move like…
I love to breathe like:
I love to look at:
I love _____ about my partner.
I love _____about my body.
I love when I feel ______ when I wake up.
These are just a start…
Gratitude allows you to feel abundance and sufficiency. There IS pleasure ripe for the taking in your body and life.
This work is just scratching the surface so if you want more support, please reach out to me!
Where are you getting stuck in your relationship and pleasure??
Reply to this and I’ll make sure to respond.