I feel like I’m about to throw up.
Right now.
In my car.
Am I a crazy, impulsive idiot? OR am I doing this whole “evolve” yourself thing right and that’s why Im scared shitless.
I literally just put in a deposit to work one on one with an incredible coach and my stomach is churning burning. It was not “planned” money. In fact, to be responsible, it’s not money that I have yet earned. This act, with icy fear in my veins, brings up all my self-doubt and tingling of possiblity… like what IF I could make the money to pay for it this month? What IS possible?
And THEN I turned off my car and my hood started smoking. My next call is going to be the tow truck. ARG My brain is on fire and chest is tight.
Does the sinking pit in my stomach mean I may have just made a money mistake? Maybe yes.
Does my momentary financial outlook remind me of a dark frigid moonscape?Yes, actually.
Is it really about the money? Not really.
If I dig in a little, these are the toxic thoughts:
- I wont be able to make the money back.
- No one will ever buy from me ever again.
- I’m not a good enough investment (bc I havent earned enough yet!)
- I wont be successful and it will be wasted.
- I probably should get another job
- Coaching is not magic
- My life will forever include old busted cars, second guessing going for Starbucks and chipped nailpolish.
Oh dear oh my… This is the inner workings of a perfect brain in action.
Our brains are wired to keep us safe and NOT doing the scary things that could so deeply serve us. We may start talking the talk, but getting into action can feel like death. Making more money, creating more value for people, believing new things and truly stepping back and thinking from my future higher self (what would SHE think about investing in a business coach?)
Which brings me to a funny concept I recently heard of called the Barf Club… mmm want in?
This is the “club” of successful entrepreneurs and self-confident badasses that do scary things to make way for greatness.
Speaking on television?
Talking your program to the “cool” moms at the last birthday party?
Sharing something super vulnerable on Instagram that could really help someone?
If the thought of something makes you want to throw up a little because it brings up all your self-doubt, shame, fear and overwhelm… and you do it anyway in service of becoming your higher self, you’re in the club.
I coach mompreneurs to manage their mind, make more money and ease off the frenetic hustle in their business.
I ask women to get coaching.
Yet, I clearly have some tender money thoughts, resistance to invest in coaching and am known to burn the candle at both ends in the name of work.
Turns out, Im still working some shit out too!
Hiring a badass coach is bringing ALL that to light for me.
This is our journey.
The price of evolving ourselves is being vulnerable enough to feel the fear and the courage to do the scary thing anyway.
What scary things in your work make you queasy?
If money, time and other peoples opinions weren’t a problem, what are YOUR toxic thoughts holding you back from feeling the courage to live your biggest, boldest dream.
Go on.
Get a little queasy. Your future self will thank you.
Here’s to up-leveling (and throwing up a little in the process),
XOXO,
Lydia