Mamas…

Transform your life through

the power of PLEASURE.

ready to Turn on?

START MAKING MAGIC

mrslydiafeldman

What's on your splurge weekend #cybermonday wishli

What's on your splurge weekend #cybermonday wishlist!?

I do hope your PLEASURE is top of mind.

Top 5 pleasure tips to purchase:
1. Good sheets that feel devine
2. Good lingerie that feels smokin
3. A fun new toy
4. Interesting low lighting
5. Sex coaching (bc duh NONE of the above will matter if you're not TURNED ON!)

Happy shopping friends!
I know I WILL BE 😉

And remember, a happy bedroom reflects a happy life.

Need help here, i gotchu! dm and well make it all click.

Xo, Lydia

Yesterday I wrote about ditching your OLD SCHOOL f

Yesterday I wrote about ditching your OLD SCHOOL feminism for hotter sex.

I should clarify.

I love that feminism is imperfect and evolving.

“Old school feminism” wants equality at all costs across the board for the sake of be EQUAL to men.

We wanted emotionally tender men and respect AND equal pay and job share at home.

BUT… there is more.

Feminism is about YOUR emboldened, sexually complex personhood… and HIS.

Which is not about equality.

We’re ALL feminine and masculine, and we get to amp up whatever the fuck feels good.

In the bedroom, your “new school” feminism MAY show up as

Being a mom that likes talking dirty.

Or you WANTING to be taken advantage of, ravished, tied up or rescued.

Or being a bitch and directing the shit out of the night.

Or opening your marriage into polyamory or threesomes.

Or playing with your own masculine or feminine expression.

Or UN-shaming your sex baggage, so you can parent with less fear.

Your "New School" Feminism feels fucking good, honest, & uncomfortable.

It has a million sexual expressions because it’s not so binary.

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SO BLACK OR WHITE…

and neither is your sexual imagination or appetite.

SO.

Ditch old school "equality" fairness thinking in the bedroom.

Trust your body.

She is primal and has every pleasure potential built in.

What YOU want, you can create.

And that is fucking radical.

I know you want to expand your pleasure in a million directions, or even just one small direction.

DM for more ways to work with me on this 😉

You’re gonna need ditch your old school feminist

You’re gonna need ditch your old school feminist brain in bed.

At least a good portion of it.

Why??

Well,equality is not erotic.

You’re a strong badass woman all day.

Doing all the things.

Getting shit done, feeding kids, making money, directing shit.

And you love a man who’s smart AND an equal.

SO much is awesomely amazing here.

But the erotic mind loves challenge, chase, risk & conquest.

It's your animal instinct.

In the bedroom, part of you needs him to obliterate manners & equality, and

BE that rugged cowboy.

And then you give yourself permission to be the damn opposite.

Whatever the F*ck that means for YOU.

Opposite are magic in the bed room!

Damsel & dragon slayer
Dom & sub
ravished maiden & bandit.

The old school control freak in you will say, nope, I’m in charge.

But the erotic loooovie love loves power play.

So how do you create that?

Let him be powerful.

Drop the reins.

AND RIDE without a plan.

ALSO.

Guys, i’ve been watching Yellowstone and well, forgive the hot western analogies here…

but seriously, we just need a little inequality in the bedroom.

Image @veryrealfantasy -- they're art is amaaaazing and so perfectly feminist erotica... my fav

The sex talk is already happening, in countless su

The sex talk is already happening, in countless subtle moments.

You won't sit her down and have one awkward convo about anatomy or consent,

she has your countless subconscious thoughts already.

You're a kickass feminist mom that doesn't teach patriarchal BS.

She's great at soccer, math, arguing with the boys.

She can have it all.

But she reads subtext.

All the squimish baggage you still believe about YOU being less than or too much is being handed down.

Notice when you tell YOURSELF:

Im screwing up
Fucking shit body, wtf
Im too busy, i cant relax
I hate dealing with the mechanic
Dont make a scene
Im screwing my kids up
Sex is boring
I dont know what I want
Tone it down
Fit in
Dont upset him
Just suck it up and give him sex
I have to tip toe around everything
Don't be annoying
Omg, I'm an idiot!
Be younger, be beautiful, be cooler
Dont get fatter

If you believe PLEASURE must be earned, bargained for or disregarded,

she will too.

If your pleasure comes last on your to-do list, she'll be lost finding her own balance.

If you pale at the thought of her "deviating" and being royally screwed up, this coaching stuff helps.

Of course we want the BEST for our little girls... and that includes wild love, fierce passion and deep self trust.

You can start the ball rolling now.

You do the work first.

Create an electric love story with YOUR body first.

What you like with all the nuances, honoring your choices, & how you pursue potent pleasure.

You will set up the most vivid example for your daughter.

Fucking own your body, your story and your lit life so she can too.

You ready? dm me.

She deserves your all❤️

#yourpleasuredlife #sayyestopleasure #pleasureispower #createyourlegacy #sexpositiveparenting

Today's style brought to you by the question, "w

Today's style brought to you by the question,

"what FIERCE shit would I NOT put together!"
#Fuckyeah

🤔🔥💋

"Home schooling" full time now requires my FULLLLLL focus, patience and creativity...

So, why not make sure my clothes help me bring all my badassery to the surface.

Do you find clothing as self-help?? 😅😖😬🙏🏼🤠😎

So far today I
💃🏻attended a 7am zoom,
💃🏻burnt two batches of eggs,
💃🏻Dressed my iconic self
💃🏻tried to retrieve lipstick from the drain (#levi),
💃🏻coached like a badass (with several kid interruptions 😯),
💃🏻1/2 cleaned the kitchen
💃🏻Found mysterious weird smell in the living room
💃🏻Helped with 3 Zoom first grade classes/ homework
💃🏻Took this selfie before noon.

Ok, it's official, working quarantining moms are goddesses.

End of story.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 go gettem this friday y'all!

And for the record, I felt like:
🥱 🎢 😖🤗😑😭🤩💃🏻💋🤬🙄😴🤐💩👿👏🏼🥰

So being goddessy is also crazy.

Rekindling passionate sex and soulmate sparks feel

Rekindling passionate sex and soulmate sparks feels complicated.

So uncomplicate things.

At the end of the day, you want to feel love.

You want to crawl into your bed after the craziness of kids and covid and bills and anxious whatever out there...

And to feel better.

Hell, maybe even like your bed is a safest, most amazing, luxurious, fun place on earth.

And you want that warm bodied man next to you to love you and feeeeeel you wherever you're at.

This all you know to be true.

And then there's the passionate love making part.

Even when you deeply love your partner, sex doesn't always feel "inspired" or desired.

In fact, it could feel the opposite.

But good news!

Sex is neither the problem nor the solution.

Sex is simply the side effect of what's going on in your head.

Uncomplicate it.

Working with a coach simplifies what seems to be unsolvable.

If pleasure feels hard, dm me woman.

If you want to crawl into bed & recharge with wanton hot sex that you LOOOOVE ... dm immediately to get started 😉

Life is too short to be screwing yourself out of deeper pleasures and more LOVE ❤️

His pleasure is NOT your responsibility. He had a

His pleasure is NOT your responsibility.

He had a long day at work?

Relaxing him is not your job.

It’s “been a while” and sex “overdue”?

His orgasm is not your duty.

He has a long list of sexual "needs", wants more sex, more porn, more women,

more more more, just the way he "needs" it…

It’s STILL not your wifely requirement to fulfill his desires.

Your vagina is not a bargaining chip.

Y'all know it's not 1950 here.

AND ALSO.

Somewhere deep in your bones, part of you is angsting because

You're his wife.

You love him.

You gotta uphold your end of the bargain.

Marriage is about compromise.

And it’s better than the alternative of fighting or him wandering, cheating or leaving.

And you know what?

Your fears aren’t crazy.

the reality is, yeah, fights happen, he may wander, cheat or leave.

And you still don’t HAVE to do jack shit if you're not so compelled.

And you certainly don't have to drag yourself through the guilt, shame storm of being frigid or "not enough"
•

📣📣📣📣📣
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS PLEASURE.

and he’s not responsible for yours either.

Sex is never owed.

Sex is never earned.

Sex doesn’t need to be a manipulating tool in your relationship.

It can be exactly the way you want it.

Sex can be full of pleasure, connection and honesty.

If you want THAT between your legs, the work 100% starts with you, your brain and

Your fucking hot vagina that gets what she wants.

Turn it up woman, come work with me & OWN the shit out of your sex life.

#fuckoffpatriarchy #ownyourpleasure #yourbodyisnotforsale #createahotmarriage #startswithyou

Lately I have been feeling a little "blank" creati

Lately I have been feeling a little "blank" creatively.

Or like, it's this HUGE push to try and muscle my brain into sitting down and thinking.

Ya ever feel like you sit down to work and your mind goes blank?

And then there's a slew of judgey, cranky feels that follow.

Here's my new method of getting "into my zone" of genius.

I talk out loud.

Rather than telling myself what I SHOULD be doing or feeling, I just talk it out.

For example, this morning, I finished coaching and didn't feel "inspired" to write.

And then Levi attached himself to my lap with his ipad.

I started talking to myself, hmm you want to write but its loud, it's distracting. Ok, so what? Why do You need quiet? Ohhh to be clear and brilliant. Of course you want to write something profound!

Cool, but what if you aren't profound?

Like, seriously Lyd, no one needs you to be a unicorn of blazing earth shattering truth bombs.

It's also ok to just be a human, with a squishy toddler on your lap.

That wants to love her life right now.

In the noise.

And I kept writing. Letting it be a little easier bc its messy.

👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼
Talk to yourself like a friend.

Not like a boss or angry parent or military sergeant.

And this my friend, is thought work for creativity.

It's how you nourish (and comfort) the mind for MORE pleasure and possibility.

Sometimes you just talk out loud to yourself and notice where your unfriendly.

So here's to a messy, slightly nicer, slower Saturday💋

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